There’s something to be said about…Chemistry - the natural kind.

I believe in CHEMISTRY. What is chemistry? - the level of attraction that you feel after you meet someone for the first time - whether it’s his personality, the way he smiles, the way he drives a car, his passion with his work.   With a woman, it may be the way she crosses her legs, the way she looks when she’s thinking, the way her dress movies when she walks, her voice or the way she smiles (true - men are more visual), or her talent.   I have seen too many examples of where there was the physical attraction, or perhaps the intellectual attraction, but the chemistry wasn’t there. I believe it’s that “Chemistry” that leads to wanting to see that person on the second and third date. It’s natural. It’s not something that you “put on”; it’s that something that you have, and it’s always there. So relax, if the guy or gal’s gonna want to go out on a second date, it will be the “chemistry”.

You can’t “get” chemistry. However, “chemistry” can grow as you see that person over and over again. Wanting that “chemistry” can become a good habit that you don’t want to break. Chemistry is usually a good thing - it is a basic trait that is a magnet to another.

Have you ever thought about something that you liked about a friend that made you want to be with him or her? Maybe it’s the way she wasn’t afraid to tell you how great you were; how she smiled when you were with her; maybe it’s the way he told you how beautiful you were; maybe it’s the way the two of you were so comfortable with each other and you loved that feeling. That’s when friendships can blossom into more than just a friendship.

“There’s something about Mary”…remember that movie? Where Ted just couldn’t get Mary off his mind? Okay, it was Cameron Diaz - but there was “something” that attracted him - some chemistry - something awkward about her that he found endearing. There was also a movie, “Light in the Piazza” with Yvette Mimieux”. It was the story about a mentally challenged woman who was loved by a very handsome man (of course - it’s the movies, folks). But on their wedding day, they are getting married at the Piazza and the flower girl is spreading her flowers on the ground before this young man and woman walk down the isle. The young woman bends down and picks each petal up and smiles and stops the wedding in mid-track, and everyone at the wedding gasps in anticipation of what will the guy do. But as you look at her future husband, he is looking down at his to-be-wife with deep affection and you can see the chemistry (he finds her adorable) - there’s that certain something that he finds and found so attractive - that natural quality.

I find a man driving backwards attractive - you know when they put one hand on the steering wheel and the other arm on the back of their seat and they drive into a parking space with confidence. Do other people find that attractive? - Maybe. But that was something that I found attractive about Bruce - the way he drove. My children have seen photos of guys that I dated before I met Bruce. Some were handsome; some were facially homely. Some they couldn’t imagine my being attracted to. But there was something about them that I found attractive and that’s what’s important.

So, relax on your first date. If it’s there - it will stay. And smile, listen, and communicate - that’s a given.

And that’s my two cents!